God Hates Gays (And Everyone Else Apparently)

So most of the gay-hating people in the world know the Old Testament Bible verse Leviticus 18:22 which states "Two guys having sex is gross and they are an abomination but two chicks doing it is pretty hot." That may not be the verse line-for-line, but that's how I always interpreted it.

Anywho, I've always pointed out, as do many people with even the slightest grasp of logic and hypocrisy, that if you dig through the Old Testament i.e. the script for history's greatest snuff film, you'll find there's a ton of shit that God finds sinful. I was raised Southern Baptist and was told that a sin is a sin is a sin, meaning no sin is greater than other because they're all an offense to God.

So, growing up with the belief that copying off Donna Jameson's algebra test in the eighth grade is as much a Hell-worthy affront as murdering a hobo, I find it laughable that being gay is worse than some of the other sins listed in the Bible. Especially since being gay isn't a choice, a fact that even most anti-gay "prayer warriors" understand, while getting a haircut, most definitely, is.

And by the way, I still identify as a Christian. I just gave up on organized religion a long time ago because of their very closed-minded view on the Bible and the teachings of Jesus. "Christian" is derived from the word "Christ." You know, Jesus. But instead of living the lessons of Jesus, who taught us to love on another as we love ourselves, too many people want others to suffer, so they point out what everyone else is doing wrong. Basically, they cherry pick the Bible verses that apply to people they don't like without using that accusatory tone against themselves. In lieu of organized religion, I speak directly to the spark of the Lord that is inside me. I find that it works pretty well and there's no middle man required.

I found this in a Facebook comment section. The original post was in regards to a group of "good Christians" picketing a movie that dared depict two homosexuals as loving individuals instead demonic, God-hating pedophiles. I re-post it here in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, one narrow-minded person will read this and think, "Huh. Maybe I need to change my attitudes. Or start protesting the local farmers."

So without further ado, here's something I found pretty awesome. Share it as you see fit.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Misleading Facebook Page Not Happy With DC, Marvel re: Teh Gays

(This.)

Last week, 48K And Some Change Moms (er, sorry, meant 1,000,000 Moms) decided the very public beatdown they received at the hands of JC Penny, Ellen DeGeneres, and scores of people who don't give a shit about what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes, wasn't enough. They have now decided to attack DC Comics and Marvel Comics re: their recent announcements regarding gay characters within their respective universes. DC announced they were going to have a longtime character outed and despite my personal opinion, it appears Earth 2's Green Lantern is their man. On the Marvel side, Northstar, the first mainstream character to come out of the closet (as a member of Alpha Flight in '92, now a member of the X-Men), is marrying Kyle, his longtime partner.

Hilarity could quite possibly ensue.

If the "Christians" who form 1,000,000 Moms (in quotes because the last time I checked, Christians were about love and acceptance and following the example set by one J. Christ, not judgement, hatred, and intolerance), thought Ellen's fans were slavishly devoted, wait until they start running into comic book fans. If you step between a geek and his/her object of affection, you're in a world of fucked, ladies (I keep wanting to steal Loki's line to Black Widow during her interrogation of him during The Avengers, but I'm trying to be the better person and play nice). Gays are the object of scorn, ridicule, and derision. Guess who else fills that description?

(Worst. Protest. Ever.)

We geeks know from being put down and patronized based on what we love. Scouting the message boards and Facebook pages and blogs, I've already seen several, if not most, of those sites are either supporting Marvel's and DC's decisions or just apathetic because the storylines don't affect the titles they themselves read. If you'll look at the Facebook pages of Marvel and DC, you'll see a lot of talk about this topic, mostly from those who are adamantly opposed to those doggone gays with their kissing of other dudes and being all fabulous and whatnot. But if you look really close, you don't see a lot of the anti-gay people actually talking about specifics of the two storylines; they're making general statements such as "If you go through with this, I'll never read another one of your comics again" or "If you go through with this, I'll boycott Warner Bros. (owner of Marvel)/Disney (owner of DC)" or "How can you put out this smut in a publication read by children?"

Keep that last one in mind, I'll get to it in a minute.

What this leads me to believe is that various groups such as the 1M Moms, the American Family Association, The Organization of Christians Determined to Get Rid of Gays Because They Make Us Uncomfortable and We're Jealous of Their Stable Relationships While Our Own Marriages Were Built on Sandy Foundations (OK, I made that last one up. But can you imagine?) sent out desperate e-mails to their membership base telling them to descend upon any and all comic-based Facebook pages, blogs, message boards, et. al., and voice their outrage.

I would like to explain to these individuals why their promises of boycotts and whatnot aren't going to work. Alright, if you're an extreme right-wing homophobe who believes in smaller government except in the case of it's none of your goddamned business, listen up. Remember the Ellen deal? The one with JC Penny? Remember how they were threatened with a boycott if they let that terrible, awful LEZ-BEE-IN Ellen continue to represent them? 'Member that? How'd that work out? Not so good, huh? Well, JC Penny is normally the kind of company that would crumble immediately given that kind of public pressure and the threat of negative publicity. Normally, a company such as that would pay Ellen off, give some horseshit reason why they changed their minds, and the "good Christians" could sleep easy in their bed of righteousness, knowing they kept another one of them queers from, I don't know, making their kids want to wear dresses, cook desserts, and come up with a divine paint scheme for the dining room.

Well that didn't fucking happen, did it?

So on the wrong end of a pretty good ass-whippin', you're going to attack the entertainment industry? You know, the industry that has a LOT of homosexuals within it? Do you honestly think for a nanosecond that Disney and/or Warner Bros. is going to give two shits what some backward-ass, small-minded tit such as yourself thinks about their product? A product you don't even fucking buy to begin with?

Now let's go back to that comment I made earlier about the children who read comics. These aren't your father's or grandfather's comics, folks. Take a good look at the graphic at the very top of this article. The idea of having your child exposed to mind-numbing violence or the complete sexual objectification of women is totes acceptable in your book, but the very idea of two men shown kissing or living happily in a committed relationship is what sends you over the edge? What the fuck is wrong with you? How is one OK and the other isn't?

(Yeah, what he said.)

Here's the down-and-dirty fact behind all of this: it's not that the characters are gay, it's that the characters are gay men. Where was the outcry over Batwoman or any of the other lesbian comic book characters? Where was the outrage 20 fucking years ago when Northstar originally came out? It didn't exist because Northstar came out around the same time DC killed Superman and Northstar was pretty much gay in name only. And as far as the gay women go, they're still created in a manner that provides titillation for men. I mean, c'mon; hot broads dressed in skin-tight spandex making out? Guys literally pay to see that shit online. But the idea of two men (MEN, dammit) kissing or acting in any manner that is believed to be anything other than masculine is an absolute anathema to these people.

The best part of all this is the absolute hypocrisy employed by those who are against gay marriage in general. I posted a pic here the other day that was awesome in its hilarity. The same passage of the Bible that says two men together are gross and not cool is also the same one that says no tattoos. Oh, but there's more. Leviticus also says women can't leave the house without their heads covered or that a woman who loses her virginity prior to marriage is fucked, both literally and figuratively, in the eyes of the Almighty. So how many of those 1,000,000 Moms were pure as the driven snow when they said "I do"? How many of them are dressed in accordance with the Bible when they leave the house every day? How many of these pious, nosy, can't-keep-their-noses-out-of-places-that-dont'-fucking-concern-them women have a cute little tattoo somewhere on the temple God is loaning them until they're called home?

And let me explain something else (I was raised Baptist, kids; I can preach ALL day long, canIgetanamen?), in the eyes of God, a sin is a sin is a sin. What that means is that the sin you're protesting against doesn't make the sins you commit OK. For example: the fact you're against homosexuality doesn't mean it's OK to drive 15 miles over the speed limit every day because the Bible states that you must follow the laws of man (Romans 13:1-2). Laying with a man as you would a woman, according to the Old Testament, is wrong, but you know what else is wrong?

• Wearing clothes made of more than one fabric.
• Shaving or getting a haircut (I personally love this one since the people who gave me shit at church when I was a teen about my long hair had scalp-bearing crewcuts. See you in Hell, assholes).
• Growing a variety of crops in your field instead of just one.
• Marital infidelity.

If you care to read more, click HERE.  But shit, Kurt, I hear you saying...those things are HARD. Or just out-and-out fucking ridiculous. The stoning queers thing is so much easier. Besides, that's Old Testament stuff. It's the NEW Testament that matters.

"If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." John 14:15 (New Testament). Pretty sure that means ALL of them, not just the ones that are easy. And if you read HERE, there is a case to be made that the New Testament describes same-sex relationships and is pretty OK with it. Finally, and this is the big one, Jesus loved us ALL. Not just the folks who were right all the time and rubbed it in everyone's face; He loved the sinners, the gamblers, the whores, etc., too. In fact, he gave the latter a little more attention because he felt like they needed it.

So for all of you hate-filled "Christians" who want to attack DC and Marvel or worse, attack the homosexuals in reality who have enough shit to deal with because of people like you, maybe you need to read your Bible, especially the teachings of the Son of God, a little closer. I may be wrong in my support of marriage equality and the acceptance of homosexuals as fellow children of God, but I'd rather err on the side of love rather than be "right" in subscribing to judgement, hatred, and intolerance.